Tuesday, July 10, 2018

The Chosen Nightmare - Waking Up From a Dream

As many of you know, I have been working on my photo art graphic novel "The Chosen Nightmare" for about a year, and recently finished an edit of it.

My intention was to release it in July, but that was pending on a review with featured Model Liz LaPoint (also my wife) about the content and how people would perceive it, and whether or not people would understand the social message amidst the sexuality and dark themes, and we decided together not to do a general release of the book.

I have always said I would not release a version of the book that was creatively compromised, and that is what it has come down to. It is important to us as artists and compassionate human beings that we aren't misunderstood, and there are very real concerns that some people would not understand the context of the imagery nor would they comprehend the overall message.

I am not ashamed of the book, and in fact love it very much. It is dark, erotic, weird and surreal. My models delivered brave performances and I worked tirelessly on it.

That said, it is not completely dead. I am going to privately sell 5 copies of it, and that is it!

The 5 copies will come with props from the shoot and will be autographed and contain a lot of extra stuff that wasn't going to be in the edit I just finished.

It will be 8"x10" and around 300 pages.

If you are interested in obtaining one of the five copies, please message me or email me at terryost@mac.com

(Adults Only - Contains Nudity, Graphic Sexual Situations & Violence.)




Thursday, May 10, 2018

The Chosen Nightmare - Spring Update - The Tragedy & Beauty of Choices

Humans often choose things that harm them or have painful repercussions and consequences. All too frequently, people know their choices will alter their direction negatively but the momentary pleasure or joy their action gives them, overrides the impulse of self preservation. If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger... or at the very least you learn a lesson that you won't repeat.

The beauty of the human mind and condition is that we evolve from our experiences, individually and collectively. 

"The Chosen Nightmare" began as a visual horror story about religious sexual oppression, but has grown in its scope, thanks to a lot of cultural shifts such as the "Me Too" movement and the cultural growing pains we are witnessing in society. 

I don't believe art should be restricted or altered to make people comfortable. 

"The Chosen Nightmare" is a visual art collage mixing photography and art, and is a unflinching examination of religion, sexuality and psychology. Creating this story has been difficult at times since it does feature my wife at her most vulnerable and exposed.

Modeling, like acting, is about portraying mood and character, and sometimes it requires the performer to go to great lengths, and Liz LaPoint (and Model and Actor Luke Gardiner) went the extra mile to deliver performances that perfectly supported my hard-hitting vision.

My intention is to release a limited edition uncensored version of "The Chosen Nightmare" and a standard edition which will be less graphic and have a leaner version of the story, but it will be very difficult to release any version which is toned down or censored because the story I need and want to tell is the full version. 

This project is the summation of my life's influences and experiences, and contains the most important message any of my work has even contained. In many ways it is about the oppression of women, but it is also about oppression of artists and free expression and speech. 


My goal is to release the book by Halloween, but I am going to shop it to publishers first so we shall see. Subscribe to my OnlyFans page for updates, sneak previews and more of my art for uncompromising adults.













Thursday, December 7, 2017

"The Chosen Nightmare" - New Horror Fantasy Art Book Coming Soon!

It has been a couple of weeks since our five week shoot for my book "The Chosen Nightmare" (Written, Photographed & Illustrated by myself and featuring Models Liz LaPoint & Luke Gardiner) wrapped and I am still processing what an amazing adventure it was. I feel like we pushed boundaries and shattered conventions in some unique ways to deliver an uncompromising story unlike anything that has been done before.

The graphic novel will contain no story text, and is completely a visual journey mixing photography and illustrations and mixed media. It started as a screenplay for a possible experimental horror fantasy film and is now a book, but we are discussing the possibility of making it a feature film or selling the rights. (Liz has indicated that no amount of money could convince her to star in a film version of it since she insists she is not an actor, but I am sure Luke Gardiner would love to reprise his role.) 




I will be editing and illustrating the book for the next several months, and will be approaching brave publishers to distribute the book, or I will self-publish it if I cannot find someone willing to release it uncensored in all of its hellish glory!

There will be a $50 version and a $500 dollar version of "The Chosen Nightmare". 

The $50 standard edition will simply be the story and will include an essay by myself & Liz LaPoint on making the project. 

The $500 Director's Cut will be an extended & uncensored version of the story, with essays, the original script, production notes, and unused concept art and erotic art. There will only be 5 copies of the "Director's Cut and each one will come signed by myself and Liz LaPoint and will come with one of the outfits or props from "The Chosen Nightmare". The extended version is for adults only and contains graphic nudity, extreme graphic sexuality, violence and horror. 

Follow Luke on OnlyFans, Instagram & Twitter:




Follow Liz LaPoint on OnlyFans, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and her YouTube channel & Blog.









Friday, October 20, 2017

Shaping "The Chosen Nightmare"



It is funny to me that my entire childhood was spent dreaming of becoming a comic book artist, then wanting to write, act and direct my own indie movies, before becoming a photographer, and ultimately ending up doing something that incorporates all of those elements in book form.

In art, it isn't about how you are saying it, but what you are saying.

When you throw out the rules and stop trying to do things that have been done before, you are free to create something new.

Too often people are uncomfortable with new ideas and changes, and many people have a knee-jerk response to reject anything "new" (even though many embrace a break from their routines.) Fear is their motivator, when fear of the mundane and mediocre should push them to seek new experiences instead of reject them.

Publicly and in groups, where most people are most comfortable, they voice discomfort when new ideas are proposed, and my art is a response to that.

If you believe you know the answers early in life, you stop growing. If you believe we as a society have all of the answers, too many questions go unanswered.

My latest work "The Chosen Nightmare" is about fear. It is about the things which oppress us and obstruct ideas. It is about how toxic and damaging it can be to follow any ideology that represses growth or prevents people from being who they want to be.

My ultimate nightmare is a life un-lived.

Growing up in Northern Michigan, I felt like an alien for my entire childhood and couldn't wait to escape, and vowed never to return. My fear of staying in a place that didn't celebrate differences and encourage those who weren't like everyone else, was greater than my fear of the outside world which I had rarely experienced. I turned 18, graduated, and fled with few belongings and no savings, and that journey took me all over the United States, and gave me ten years in New York City and ten years in Southern California before circumstances brought me back to Northern Michigan after twenty-five years of adventure.

Now that I have had a chance to reflect and grow from living once again in the place of my youth, I have decided we belong here just as much as anyone else does, and perhaps I was meant to return to help other people who have been bullied for being different, and for their art.

Maybe Liz and I were meant to be here so we could encourage young artists and free thinkers, and let them know there is a place here for their ideas and art.

No one has a right to bully someone for wanting to express themselves and be creative.

Ideas help us consider things and expand our worldview, and the world instantly becomes a better place when people are thinking and considering boundless possibilities.

Though my new book is for adults audiences, my message is for all ages, and that message is to be yourself and don't let people try to control your ideas or voice. You have a right to create and be open and free without harassment or intimidation.

Being an artist isn't a job, its a lifestyle and an endless journey, and a journey full of accidents, mistakes, growth and ultimately valuable lessons.

No one should let FEAR be your guide or motivator.

Be fearless! Be strong! Be free!

Life is too short to live by other people's ideas of what your art and ideas should be.

So looking forward to finishing "The Chosen Nightmare" but right now, I am in love with the creative process.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Artist Contest - The Chosen Nightmare

I have been leaning towards having a guest artist / pin-ups section at the back of my new graphic novel “The Chosen Nightmare” and am inviting other artists to collaborate since I’ve now been approached multiple times by artists wanting to contribute. 

 I have been trying to think of a way to set up a loose guideline for the subject matter and I think I have something. 

I don't want to reveal the plot of the story, but the summation of it is Liz plays a character who wakes up on the top floor of an abandoned building with no recollection of how she got there. She descends each floor but encounters some nightmarish things on the way, so what I thought I would do is set up a guideline for the feature which I am calling "Choosing the Nightmare" and let artists interpret a non-violent, but scary/sexy nightmare featuring Liz, in or out of the Sailor/SchoolGirl uniform she wears in the story. So, it could be her being pursued by a monster, wolf man, sea monster, ghosts, etc… 

Deadline to submit is December 31st 2017. It is a non-paid inclusion, and artists will have to sign a release giving me permission to use their work in the book and for promotion, but they will be credited and receive a free 30 day membership to my OnlyFans for submitting. Three Artists will be randomly chosen to receive a signed copy of the book. Not all images submitted will be included in the book, due to the potential volume of submissions. Direct Message me on my Twitter or email me at terryost@mac.com for more info or further questions. 





Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Fall 2017 Update - "The Chosen Nightmare"

My intention has been to update this more frequently but between one social media account to the next, because how much can I say here that I haven't said somewhere else?

My reasons for even having an online presence, (because some days I crave checking-out and going back to the non-internet days of privacy and more personal encounters) is to connect with friends and acquaintances and to grow an audience for my art.

Documenting our journeys in this new digital age is a tricky thing. It is like a stadium full of people all talking at once, and not really listening to each other. Worrying about "likes" and "follows" is less important than meeting a new friend who likes the same things I do, and happens to like my work and projects. I am looking for more meaningful interactions and connections, and it isn't really about financial gain or ego. Yes, I would to profit from my work because I have stories to tell, and the way I tell my stories requires costumes, props, locations and models, but financial gain has never been my reason or motivation for creating. Every artist wants to have financial independence and freedom to create, but we all have expenses and art isn't always a profitable investment.

Ironically, my childhood vision for my adult life was that I would grow up and work in the comic book industry, but my love of cinema, photography and fashion guided me towards writing, acting and directing for movies, which I focused on for most of my 20's. In my 30's I was more interested in full creative control and telling stories with still images. My photography was mostly aimed at shooting models, nude and otherwise, sometimes with erotic elements, and sometimes just fashion or fantasy. (I have also focused on landscapes and still life but there isn't a huge financial return or demand for that material due to the volume of photographers shooting similar toned images.)

After almost 7 years of working exclusively with a model who would become my wife, and our work becoming more and more conceptual, I am circling back to a desire to create graphic novels. Of course, my art has evolved to include a cinematic sensibility and incorporates my photography.

I use a site called OnlyFans currently for adults who like my work to subscribe to, and Liz and I shoot photo sets and I post work from my archives of Liz and other models, as well as behind-the-scenes images and project updates. I shot a set recently that inspired me to dust off an old screenplay I wrote and consider adapting it for a graphic novel. I re-wrote it and am feverishly working on it, and very excited. This is like a little movie with a ton of sets, extra models and lots of props and costumes. Liz had come up with the new title, which fit the re-write's tone better, and we are busy with what is essentially pre-production.

I'm not going to say much about the story but those who follow my twitter and instagram or subscribe to my OnlyFans probably have gathered that it is a horror fantasy and features a lot of demons and monsters.

There will be 2 versions of it available, one standard edition and one extra thick, extended story, and uncut version... both are intended for adult audiences only.

Fans of Milo Manara, Guido Crepax,  and the great Paolo Eleuteri Serpieri will appreciate the raw, wicked style of this book. "The Chosen Nightmare" isn't intended for the adult who still just reads superhero comic books and needs everything spelled out for them.

I may seek out a brave publisher who might be interested in helping me produce the book the way I envision it, 2 versions, an accompanying soundtrack, and no censorship. If I can't find an interested publisher, I will self publish it.

I anticipate releasing it the book in the Spring, and subscribers to my OnlyFans will get previews throughout the process.

I have a pile of screenplays to choose from for future graphic novels so I suspect I will continue with these types of projects if this one works out as I plan it. I love the digital age we now live in, and how easy it is to get your work to the intended audience.

I am very appreciative for my friends and supporters who either like what we do or support our right to do it (even if my work isn't their cup of tea.)

The adult content of my work isn't intended for those who didn't read Epic Illustrated and Heavy Metal Magazine, or who didn't grow up binging on European Horror Movies or subscribing to Suicide Girls or God's Girls. If you are a fan of experimental film, erotic art and weird surreal stuff, you might like my work. If you are super conservative and not into what I'm into, stay away from it. Easy Peasy!

I'm done debating or defending my work to haters and trolls (well, really only one troll, but still.) You can say what I do isn't "art", and you can claim it is immoral, and call me names and suggest I am not a good person, but I am a family man, honest, loyal and empathetic and I don't have to prove otherwise because I am surrounded by decent people who know me from all walks of life. My actions speak for themselves. My wife, who is independent, smart, spunky and a devout feminist, free-thinker, does what she wants, for the reasons she has, and we are a team. Not only is she smarter than our hater on every level, but she has more common sense and savvy than anyone I have ever met.

Many people seek religion for their philosophical questions and I support the need to do that. I explore my spirituality and intellectual quandaries through art and nature. I push boundaries and challenge conventions because the answers provided by society seem incomplete or overly simplistic.

When 2017 began, I had no idea where it would take me, but the truth is, I went with the flow and have really enjoyed this year. I feel more at peace with the universe than ever before. I am grateful to be alive, and to be surrounded with love, and creativity.

I'll probably blog again at the end of the year and give an update of how the project is coming. Enjoy the rest of your 2017!









Wednesday, March 8, 2017

March is here...

I haven't posted in awhile, as I have been fighting illness and trying to prioritize goals better.

There is never enough time in a day to channel creative thoughts and ideas into actual projects.

Life is full of distractions and white noise that hinders our progress. I have always had a difficult time blocking out background noise and activity.

Though I had set out to actually do very little this year, I find that the more I try to disengage, the more I get pulled in.

It is a crazy time in our world right now, culturally, socially and politically. I'd love to hermit away and join some hippy commune in the forest but running from problems is a coward's escape.

Artists, thinkers, writers, and creative people have a moral obligation to make the world a better place and to shine a light on the darkness. It seems more vital than ever before.

I am working on new writing submissions and photo projects, and just trying to survive.